Signs

My oldest daughter is starting to show the first signs of puberty. It is time. If I think about my life, I can remember I was about her age when I realized I was growing old, I was becoming an adult. Up to that point, I guess I only thought I was growing up, getting taller without actually thinking my height meant something else than being able to look my mother straight into her eyes.

She is still my girl, a sweet child who loves to play with her favorite toys, but, little by little, she´s changing, she´s being changed by the passage of time. In a question of months, she will be bloming into a beautiful young woman. 

In a very short period of time, she will be looking at me straight into my eyes, as an equal.  

I just hope I will be wise enough in helping her in making some sense of what it means to be a woman.            

Wishes

I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, when my youngest said: "mom, I don´t want you to change".

When I took her plate to the dinning table, I asked what she meant, and she answered: "I dont want you to get old, cause you´re so beautiful. If you get old you will look less beautiful". I just smiled back.

I´ve been thinking about your request, sweetie. And, as much as I wanted not to change, this is simply not possible. What I am today is slightly different from what I was yesterday,  and you probably look different as well, I can tell. A new tooth is filling the gap left from the one the tooth fairy took last week, and that is just an example. You gonna turn seven, you learned to read and write, you´re facing your fears. You were so happy to finally learn to swim, and you want to sleep alone, in your bed.

It´s impossible, because we live in different times. You´re the future, you look forward to what will come. I am the past, I look backwards, in a search for things I left behind. And that´s not either good or bad, it is just the way it is.
Right now, we share our presents together. Right now, I am your beautiful mother, the most beautiful woman you know, and that´s very sweet, especially because all daugthers think their mothers are gorgeous, and that´s fair enough, I´m very pleased you see me like that.
However, I know this will not last. Not only because time will pass for me, but mainly because it will pass for you, and I am sure you will grow up to be a very good looking young woman, and by then, when you´ll look at me, you´ll see a different person. Older indeed, but that wouldn´t be so important to you anymore. You will see me with a critical eye, you´ll spot my ugliness for the first time.
I know it´ll hurt, for you and for me, but it´s part of life. You will understand someday.
So let´s enjoy our presents together. Let me be your beautiful mother, and you, my seven year old girl.